Losing the drive

Last night didn't go so well. Well, yesterday in general, I suppose. I had my 2 Lipo 6 pills in the morning, and I was wired well into the afternoon. Until about 4:30, when I completely and utterly crashed. I nearly fell asleep on my keyboard. I took the afternoon dosage of 1 pill right then, but I never really woke up the rest of the evening.

On the food front, I keep missing breakfast. Yesterday I also missed my mid-morning snack. I had a good protein/carb balance for lunch, but I added a small (very small!) piece of cake that was from a farewall cake for someone on my team. I wasn't too worried about the calories it was providing, given it was so small (and I scraped off most of the frosting). However, I think that small piece of cake played a big role in my crash-and-burn evening. The spike in insulin it caused is most likely what threw off my otherwise satiated appetite, and left me wanting to eat quite a lot.

I was good, and had a protein shake to snack on, and a chicken breast, small potato, and half an avocado for dinner. I didn't succumb to the urge to eat the world. I had gum. And then another piece. And then a glass of water. And another. And my teeth would not stop grinding despite my best efforts. It was very disheartening that the nutrition I have been following for the past 2 weeks and have not had trouble with suddenly felt like I was starving myself. Because of that damn cake.

I love what I'm eating, too. I'm not picking foods that I hate, that would just be torturous, and no way in hell I'd be able to stick with it. I'm picking delicious things, and I'm having my once-a-week cheat meal. I don't feel like I'm undereating, yet it felt like that yesterday. I'm really hoping it was just cuz of that cake, and won't happen again. Today I brought gum with me to work, to help avoid the grinding of the teeth.

I had a bad day at work yesterday, and had to stay 2 hours late. That coupled with my extreme "hunger", and I was in a pretty pissy mood when I got home. I was also dead tired from...I guess from crashing from my energy pills (today I'll take the afternoon dose earlier and see how that goes). So...I did not go to the gym. Everything was upsetting me. The scale told me that I now weigh more than I did when I started 2 weeks ago, with the same % of body fat - aka I GAINED FAT. Ridiculous. I plan on going to the gym tonight and doing yesterday's lower body weight training and today's cardio, to stay on track. Here's hoping today goes better than yesterday.

For the next few days, I'm going to try to log what I'm eating here, so I can really measure my caloric consumption. Maybe it's too low, maybe too high - it feels like it's about right, but it's time to find out for sure. I have pretty much the same thing every day, so once I figure it out and tweak it as needed, I should be set.