Food...I love you and I hate you

Oh, food. How I love thee. I watch you on TV all the time! I learn to prepare you, and spice you up. I eat way too much of you, usually. You're just so good!

But lately, food, you haven't been so good to me. I try to eat better things, and you don't nourish me as much as I need. You insist on me stuffing my face all day long just to hit enough calories. Food, what will I do with you?

Lately, the nutrition portion of my fitness regime is the part that's been getting me. Usually I concentrate on getting a good workout, making sure to do my cardio and hit the weights hard. The nutrition I usually let fall by the wayside, more or less, assuming that if I'm eating higher quality foods and trying hard to restrict portion sizes, then I'm good.

Well, yes and no. I should definitely be eating higher quality foods, yes. I should be restricting my portion sizes....ish. I need to eat so much more quantity of food now (making sure that it's healthy stuff), it's getting quite ridiculous. I buy the whole store when I go to the market, and it's all gone in 3 days at home. I bring a huge bags of food to work every day, and eat the whole thing. My coworkers watch me eating every waking minute of the day (ok not quite, but a whole lot more than they eat), and I see them judging me. What's that fat girl doing eating AGAIN? It's hard to eat so much. Who would have thought I would be the one saying that?

I love foods. I hate food prices on the good-for-ya stuff. I hate purple shirt guy following me around the market. I hate going to the market every week. I hate being completely screwed if I didn't have time to prepare my snacks or meals in advance to bring with me to work. I love eating all day, mostly because I love food, but I hate the looks I get for it, and I kinda also hate having to eat all day. For example, today I forgot to eat my oatmeal and cottage cheese for my mid-morning snack. I'm sure I'll be ravenous after lunch because of that.

So now I'm concentrating on the nutrition, trying to get the right amount of calories and also trying to do the proper breakdown of protein vs carbs vs fats. What does this mean? The gym part of the fitness regime is falling by the wayside! I haven't been to the gym since Sunday. SINCE SUNDAY. Last night I fell asleep early. The 2 nights before, I was all pissed after work and starving to death. Tonight, I AM GOING TO THE GYM IF IT KILLS ME. And hopefully that doesn't kill the nutrition the next day!

Luckily, I've been eating fewer calories the last few days - which is only good because of my lower activity level. So...I didn't completely screw myself the last few days of no gym. But, when I start going again (ie: TODAY), I have to make an extra effort to stuff in more calories to account for the activity level. I can't even fathom that. We'll see how it goes.

On a successful note, one of my shirts that was fighting too tightly has started fitting better again! Yayyyy!